She cracks the whip... I get on all fours. Am I some bondage S&M; weirdo? Maybe, but thatís irrelevant Ė Iím one of the Nightwatch team members assigned to 3 different positions. I was Ďhiredí as a mapper and 4 weeks later I have my grubby little fingers in two other major departments: textures and concept art. How did I manage to achieve such a position of grandeur? Am I a genius? Am I the most talented person ever to grace the HL community? No. Iím an idiot. This article is the idiotís guide to becoming the Nightwatch modís official bitch: she cracks the whip... I get on all fours.
It started out as a simple matter of convenience. Whatís a mapper to do when he just canít find the right texture? In a case like mine, he makes his own - then he makes a few more and before you know it has over 50 custom textures. I made the mistake of mentioning my artistic talents to Andrew and a week later I got new assignments in the texture department. I thought Andrew was my friend - I was wrong. That slippery little weasel had snuck my name into the texture department on the staff page without even telling me. Now I have 50+ texturing assignments. She cracks the whip...I get on all fours.
I knew my position was a volatile one. I had to keep a low profile, but the powers that be (a.k.a Andrew), had their (read: his) dictatorial eye on me. Out of no where we had a concept art department, and whoopty doo I was on it. I got a few assignments. And then a few more. And then it just got ridiculous. I quote Andrew, ďPlaguebearer is kinda confused by the design so the responsibility forĒ (secret weapon art) ďrests on your shoulders. Oh yeah, what do you think about making sprites?Ē Mommy, make the bad man stop!
Will the torture ever end? At least eight map assignments, 9 concept art duties, 80+ textures, fetching Andrew his fuzzy slippers... and itís only going to get worse. I donít sleep, I donít eat, I donít shower... well I never showered in the first place, but thatís beside the point. I didnít sign up for this.
Ah crap, someone brought up a good idea in the suggestions forum. Whatís wrong with you people, is no one on my side? Whose big idea...? Oh no! Andrewís IMíing me! I can hear that whip cracking...
28th March 2003 by Andrew "KungFuSquirrel" Weldon
21st March 2003 by Mohammad "BadMofo" Alavi
14th March 2003 by Matt "Chalupamonk" Michelson
7th March 2003 by Ryan "Professional Victim" Desgroseilliers
21st February 2003 by Adam "WhoMe" Foster
14th February 2003 by Dan "coil" Johnson
7th February 2003 by Francis "DeathWish" Woodhouse
31st January 2003 by Andrew "KungFuSquirrel" Weldon
24th January 2003 by Mohammad "BadMofo" Alavi
17th January 2003 by Ryan "Professional Victim" Desgroseilliers
10th January 2003 by Ken "ken20banks" Banks
3rd January 2003 by Dan "coil" Johnson
27th December 2002 by Francis "DeathWish" Woodhouse
20th December 2002 by Andrew "KungFuSquirrel" Weldon